Super Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Super Funny Quotes Biography

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That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious.

I used to like watching the Carol Burnett Show. I thought Carol Burnett was very funny. And I liked Madeline Kahn a lot because in my house we were watching a lot of Mel Brooks movies and she was always in them and super funny. And Gilda Radner. I used to like watching Saturday Night Live. I always thought that she was hilarious.

oketa_ojokJust because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...

blackhartDear people who update their Facebook status every 30 seconds, there's Twitter for a reason!

tedFor April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk.

rain.gurung58Facebook should have a limit on how many times a relationship status can be change ... after 3 times it should be change default to UNSTABLE!

I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to "it's complicated".

Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

Not to name names, but I know some of you update your status from your phone so it appears like you actually left the house. -Sent from my iPhone

Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.

Deja Vu is when God thinks something is so funny, that he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.

Becca21OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?

dannyxEverybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.'

seandixonI get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there...

dannyxThe first status on Facebook in 2013: 'Is anyone alive?'

"You put me out of a job for 1 week a month!" The tampon replies, "When you don't do your job properly, I lose mine for 9 months!"

I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke.

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don't hit me again officer...

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.

The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.

If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it's too long.

May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.

Super Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girl

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