Funny Quotes on Life Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

Funny Quotes on Life Biography

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"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works."

"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."

"Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results."

"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."

"You gotta love livin', baby, 'cause dyin' is a pain in the ass."

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it."

"Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep"

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone."

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are

"Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open."

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first"

"Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be."

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it."

"Families are like fudge...mostly sweet with a few nuts."

"Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up."

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

"If you're going through hell, keep going."

"Just because you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town."

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it"

"It's a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."

"An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."

"The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing."

"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."

"The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense, and life doesn't."

"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese"

"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

"Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life"

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

"If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas."

Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

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